We Confuse Maps with Reality.
This is something that I recently found out: when I get to know someone/a job/anything, I tend to try and put a shortcut into it. Like when I found a locked door, instead of knocking so they can open the door, I went inside my head and imagined what’s on the other side. When I was encounter a dead end, instead of climbing it, I turned around and thought ‘that was it.’ I subconsciously believe in these made-up thoughts and collapsing it into a meaning— but that’s not always the truth.
I learned it the hard way that when you got confused, anxious, begin to question the things around you; it’s basically your brain trying to gain more information on something, because it doesn’t have enough information on it.
Let’s get back to the metaphor before this:
When you get to know someone/a place, you only know what they are showing you, that’s data. Which means when there is something that you dislike, or get confused on; you need to ask the source of information itself so that you can expand your map about them. Just like when you are exploring a new place, you are supposed to go through each path or read the map that it brings, for you to be able to gather more information of the place itself, right?
A map is useful.
Reality is alive.
The moment we think we know someone…we stop looking.
The moment we think we figured out a business…we stop experimenting.
The moment we think we understand ourselves…we stop growing.
Map are necessary.
They’re just dangerous when we mistake them for the territory.
When someone says, “You’re just bad at communication.” They’ve drawn a map.
Maybe it’s accurate, maybe it isn’t. But the problem begins when the map replaces curiosity. Because maps don’t asked questions, people do.
Reality is always revealing itself.
One of the biggest mistakes we make is thinking reality needs our conclusions. It doesn’t.
Reality reveals itself eventually.
If someone lies…it shows. If a business model works…it shows. If a friendship lasts…it shows.
You don’t need to rush reality. Reality is remarkably patient.
Which means… Maybe our job isn’t to find answers. Maybe our job is to stay curious long enough for reality to answer us.
Sit with Uncertainty.
This is probably the hardest skill I’ve ever tried to learn: to not immediately conclude and try to protect myself with certainty.
Cause I get it, it’s not easy. It’s easier to try and jump into conclusion cause uncertainty hurts, uncertainty feeds anxiety, uncertainty means vulnerability.
But nowadays I ask; What else could be true? What data am I missing? What story haven’t I heard yet?
Curiosity isn’t weakness, it’s delayed certainty.
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